There’s a test we run on every piece of copy before it leaves our studio. We call it the pub test: would a real person say this, out loud, to another real person, in a pub? If the answer is no, it goes back for rewrites.
Most brand copy fails the pub test spectacularly. “Leveraging best-in-class solutions to unlock transformative synergies.” Nobody says that. Nobody thinks that. Nobody feels anything reading it.
The Cardinal Sins of Brand Copy
Sin one: writing for hypothetical readers. The brand style guide says your audience is “ambitious professionals who value quality and innovation.” That’s a demographic, not a person. Write for a specific person. Give them a name if you have to.
Sin two: leading with features, not feelings. “Made with 100% organic cotton” is a feature. “Soft enough that you forget you’re wearing it” is a feeling. Features are forgotten. Feelings are remembered.
Sin three: passive voice. Passive voice is the grammatical equivalent of speaking quietly so nobody disagrees with you. “Quality is prioritized” by whom? Own your statements. “We don’t compromise on quality” is the same fact with ten times the conviction.
The Fix
Read your copy out loud. All of it. If you stumble over a sentence, so will your reader. If it sounds stiff, it is stiff. Good copy has rhythm — it flows at the pace of thought. Bad copy fights against it.
Then cut 20%. There’s almost always 20% that adds length but not meaning. The pub test plus the cut is 90% of the battle.
